Journal Entry to God.
July 27th 2010
Father, I am stumbling with my faith. I don't understand your path for me lately.
I thought I surrendered everything to you when I gave up my heart for newspaper and gave you control. Now I am unsure. Simply stumbling. Unable to find the ground below me. Unable to understand where you want me to walk.
" I pray this moment for an unshakable amount of faith, a heart that is ocean-deep and completely full of love, a mind that is clear, and a path that is in line with your desires for my life. Father, I pray for words that express my true emotions and that this time right now may be filled with a passion for You...one that is like a wildfire.Amen"- I just had to get that off my chest.
God, I need You to speak to me again. I need you to take my heart and speak into it, in such a way that I have no doubt that its You. I thought I surrendered everything. Now, I feel maybe I haven't.
I somehow am back into newspaper...I don't understand why this happened. My heart was so happy when I was going to quit. i truly felt your presence in my heart telling me it was the right thing to do. Now what? Was that you speaking again when I was told that the school won't allow me to quit? Was that You? Or was that evil? Please Father I am so confused. Please guide my heart and mind to things that are of you. Make clear to me your plans. I thought my talent was writing?Is it not? Tell me Father, what is it then? I felt a tug on my heart last week that you wanted me to do something else with my talent? Was the tug unreal? Do you want me to stay in Newspaper...is that why I can't quit? Please give my heart peace and understanding. Let me find Your path for me again. I am giving this another try.
"Father, I pray that my heart finds peace...I pray that I fully submit my life to you and truly surrender it all...because there really is no love sweeter than yours.Amen"
Kim Walker's song "I surrender" spoke to me today as I was crying and confused...
"There is no love, sweeter than the love You pour on me.
There is no song, sweeter than the song You sing to me.
There is no place, that I would rather be,
Than here at Your feet, laying down everything.
Chorus:
All to You, I surrender,
Everything, every part of me.
All to You, I surrender,
All of my dreams, all of me.
Verse 2:
If worship's like perfume, I'll pour mine out on You.
For there is none as deserving of my love like You.
So take my hand and draw me into You,
I want to be swept away, lost in love for You.
Bridge 1:
I surrender...
Bridge 2:
No turning back, I've made up my mind,
I'm giving all of my life this time.
Bridge 3:
Your love makes it worth it,
Your love makes it worth it all,
Your love makes it worth it all."
Thank you Father, for speaking to me today. Please, help me find my talent and heart for you again. Because wandering around on this earth alone, confused is hurting me.
Love your Daughter,
Brittany
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