Lately I have felt that my life is somewhat boring. I feel as though my life revolves around college applications, school work, clubs, and actual work. Today I feel as though I’ve made the first step in order to go from boring to blissful. (Don’t you just love that word? Blissful, well I do) I went to San Francisco!
Any who, despite the random introduction this post isn’t going to be a rant of my boring and stressful life… nor will it be an entry on the crazy adventures that the three of us girls had today in the wonderful city of San Fran. In fact, I would actually like to open your eyes into what I’ve discovered the past few days.
I somehow stumbled over this blog “Ramblings”. I don’t know the family, nor have any connection with them, yet I am touched. This blog is written by the mom of a 22 year old boy who because of a motor cross accident suffered traumatic brain damage. I feel particularly connected to this story as most of her posts describe her sons struggle through physical therapy and multiple brain surgeries. It's like a blast from the past for me. Watching as she writes about her frustrations with his inability to communicate and be the person she remembers. The greatest difference between our stories is what makes it such a struggle for me to read… her son, is progressing. He has been in therapy and learning to talk using switchboard communication. He has a trach, like my mom did, but is nowhere as far gone as she was. He will return home in 2 months approximately from a hospital in Boston (where the family lives). I am happy for them. From the bottom of my heart I appreciate her sharing his story…I’m not bitter. It hurts me sometimes to hear of his success…and sometimes I sit and wonder Why can he make it?…and MY mom didn’t?
Yet what I also realize is this: Even my mom’s disease had a great prognosis…there were/ are many successful recoveries from Moya Moya and I have to keep trying my best to recognize that. The way I sometimes think about it is like this...when my mom left this world, she become part of the slim statistic that didn’t make a full recovery…however, by becoming a part of that statistic she also made room for more successful stories. 1 in two million people receive the disease that my mother struggled with and by giving her all my mother did everything she could to prevent someone else from becoming a “1 out of” along with her. For that I admire her strength and courage.
Another thing. Reading this blog is painful at points... but its also a reminder of the things I once have forgotten. It reminds me of those little things and that small progress she had that put a smile on my face. “Ramblings” reminds me of how my mom loved taking on and off my dad’s watch, how she felt building a puzzle had become a game of tug of war, and how she was mesmerized with my sisters hair…it reminds me of the small pleasures, those lost in time and hidden under 2 months of heartache without her.
Find Bliss. Remember don't forget. Your life only becomes boring when you fail to find its small pleasures.Finding meaning behind digression and trials is a never ending battle-but one well worth your time and most importantly, your heart.
Love Always and Forever,
Brittany
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