Today, A little girl, who I met only once, is just out of surgery. She is in third grade and I had the honor of babysitting her when she was in first grade. Her name is Bree, or as I have always called her:sweet Bree- bear. Bree has had epileptic seizures sich she was just a baby. Today was her second and hopefully last surgery ever! Going through the day praying for her made me realize just how many people I know that have never had the life-changing, life-altering surgery that both I and now Bree have been through.
Sure I know people have had their appendix removed or their wisdom teeth pulled but, its a much more riveting experience when your doctor says: "This 8 hour procedure will change your life forever, nothing will ever be as you saw it anymore. "
Wow. Can you say Terror like a million times over?
I was 14 when I had my first life altering 8 hour procedure. I was in 8th grade. My group of friends knew not the extent of what would be happening to me, what this would do for me. To be honest, I wish I was as lucky as Bree is today-she is almost 8 and is almost completely free from her troubles. If all goes well within the next few months- No more epileptic episodes!!
Most likely Bree will grow up with only a few slight memories of her procedures and her day to day pain.
I will live with vivid detailed memories of mine. I had my surgeries done later in my life, which to be honest has caused nothing but problems-as far as how many things I can fix in the 4 year limit I was given.
It is going to sound completely crazy but life changing surgery is a great blessing in my life. I honestly believe that it has made me such a stronger person.
Sure, my first surgery was an absolute disaster. I was in major depression mode for 4 months after-so bad that medicine wasn't working and I was readmitted. Sure, at the end of my first surgery the only thing I had to say to my doctors as the tears streamed down my face was: " You choose the wrong person, you should have given this procedure to someone who truly deserves it. One who doesnt complain about this excruciating, daily pain as much as I do. I'm sorry but I believe you made the wrong decision"
I don't feel that way anymore. Obviously. Now I am very thankful that my doctors MADE THAT CHOICE.
Still amongest all the emotions. Even though I am still experiencing excruciating daily pain. Even though my feet hurt everyday. Even though I have days even weeks of frusteration with myself because I am unable to be self suficent. I am still so blessed.
Life-changing surgery. Changes your life! Well duh Brittany, but really though I am such a greatly appreciative, stubborn, deeply determined, and optimistic person because of this.
I have had the opportunity to watch myself publically fail in my trials( falling& crying in pain), not meet peoples expectations,and above all else I have watched myself be criticized and stared at everyday.
But I have also watched myself jump rope for the first time in third grade(after a daily workout routine at recess that I created for myself). I have watched myself stand on one foot for 3 seconds, sit and move myself in a roll-y chair, and stand on rocks in sandals. I have watched myself succeed, going on my first ever hike last summer, finally WALKING disneyland grounds last month, and just this week- am now able to jump on my bed without severe injuries!
Who Am I to say that surgeries are bad? They are painful and terrifying yes, but they have given me some of the happpiest & most encouraging moments. They have allowed me to experience love without boundries through two friends: Taylor and Chelsea who took off two whole days to be with my the day of and after my last surgery in April. How can I not want others to experience this type of life change?
With that I say take everything you've lived for and prove to the world and to yourself that even in the painful moments something great developed.
Praying today for Bree and all those who have experienced life change in the form of horrible smelling sleeping gas and a cold silver scalpule.
Love your Daughter,
Brittany
No comments:
Post a Comment