My Obvious Giveaways...

Part of me is saying that I shouldn't post this, simply because those of you who do read it will criticize me, but oh well- here it goes.

When I get uncomfortable or am hurting but don't want to cry, I smile.

I know- go ahead-laugh, question me, whatever you want...but its just my gut reaction, smiling. I don't have control over it sometimes.

I was recently talking to someone and I got to a point where I knew I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to show it... so my body naturally did what it does when I'm uncomfortable: I smiled instead.

I do understand why that would look odd and out of character: I'm saying something that I'm struggling with & I say it's sad, and then I smile?? What's wrong with a person who does that???....they must be insane.

Honestly though, I promise I'm not insane. I just don't know how to respond to something without crying... and I just smile so often... it just comes out.

I really DO care about what I'm talking about...I really DO mean what I say....I just DON'T WANT TO CRY...
I always got in trouble as a kid for crying too much...so my fall back was smiling, and now by doing that- I just look like an inconsiderate jerk. fantastic,not.

So, there you have it. My readers...(all two of you)....  now believe I am insane and worst of all: you know my dead giveaway, smiling when I really want to cry.

please don't judge me, I already judge myself. I'm sorry.