My life has been a mess as of late. My list of phone calls doesn't get shorter- the names just get replaced. I'm churning out essays for classes without really even connecting with them emotionally. I'm spending my spare time searching Amazon for medical equipment, then having dreams at night of me sprinting, in all it's unknown glory, up hills and eating breakfast outside on a park bench--just like I've always wanted.
The desire to be an "audience of one" is so telling of my life right now, in more ways than just a need again for the piano.
I have been convicted lately that God too desires to be my audience of one. Sure, I can't play the piano as beautifully as my 7-year-old self once could... but I don't think God would appreciate "Here Comes the Bride" on repeat for the rest of my life too much anyways.
He wants me to speak with Him like I know that He took the time out of his day for me. He wants me to say thanks as if He had taken his lunch break and played the piano for an hour just for me.
Because the truth is, we both know, that being an audience of one to a private piano concert is about so much more than my love for the piano. It's about the peace that overcomes my soul when I know someone is playing just for me. It's about me knowing that the music they are creating is God's way of saying "Daughter, I am here. I placed this on this person's heart to share with you, so that you may know that I'm looking out for you. I will speak to you the way you receive... and the way you can no longer give."
God knows I can no longer play piano, and so do those who play for me. Yet, just as I desire to tell those who play for me that I am here, that I am listening, that I am for them- love them. God desires to tell me the same thing, not just through the piano, but in daily conversation as well.
I better start practicing some; since my audience of one wants to hear all the sounds of my life.
Love Always and Forever
Your Daughter,
Brittany
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