(this is all one scattered ramble)
I know you were not one for long talks of the Christian faith and its influence on life, but the truth is such things are of importance to me, even more so now than they were when you were around... if you can believe it.
So if you're listening, I hope these things are of importance to you now too. I always prayed when you were sick that we could talk of these things... maybe these letters have become the answer to that prayer.
In case you didn't notice, yesterday was the eighth month mark of my massive multi-part surgery. I don't know why that is such a big deal today...
Mom, I miss you. I wish I could find that tenacity you always had in your heart, instead of the uneasiness I have now.
Thank you Lord. Despite missing her, despite temporary sadness. Thank you Lord, for giving me the strength to use the walker inside the apartment;that ten percent of my time replenishes my hope.
I feel a little trapped here at school. I LOVE my classes and reuniting with my professors...the new friends I'm making... I just fear that I'm going to get stuck in the "Christian bubble" and will forget what it means to implement true faith, true community.
I'm trying to find my contentment again, trying to find my "life" direction...trying to find that paper somewhere that reminds me of the day He said there is a specific, great, lovely, and fulfilling call.
---- Just keeping my head up and my eyes wet in thankfulness for what the Lord has in store. Focusing on keeping my heart quiet and my ears open, waiting for that voice to return and calm my spirit. It always does, if I'm continually patient.----
Love Always and Forever