Monday, February 21, 2011


I'm tired of the monotony.

I'm tired of waking up every morning just to get ready and go to the same school everyday. I'm tired of running to the bathroom every five minutes to get a tissue for this runny nose of mine. I'm tired of the same ol' routine. I'm tired of leaving my house everyday at 7:05 sharp because I know it takes me ten minutes to get my car the way I like. I'm tired of having to put a towel on my front window of my dear bug Sydney because it is so cold, the window freezes. I'm tired of going to open my front door only to realize I need to yank it a little bit harder.

I'm tired of the predictability of my life.

Hence the excitement for this week to continue.

 In honesty I  really don't understand my own ways sometimes.

An example:
I hate predictability, yet I love tradition ( isn't predictability apart of tradition you ask? You bet!)
I hate stress, yet I love the sense of accomplishment and self worth I get from the end of a stressful week.
I hate standing in lines for hours, yet I love standing in line for a movie or a wonderful chance to order coffee.
I hate staying up late, yet I love how I'm most productive between the hours of 7:30 and 11 p.m.

I guess I'm just a love-hate kind of person.....when it comes to actions that is- not people.... When its people we're talking about, there is only the love side.
This week will be insane, yet I will love every minute of it.
Sure I will complain. I will be stressed. I most likely will over commit myself (trying to balance friends and existing commitments in weeks like this is challenging!). I will be sleep deprived. But my soul will be filled. My heart will continue to beat. My love for life will top the charts..
...why? Well because amongst the chaos, amongst the fear of failure or disappointment, amongst my busy life-- there is opportunity. Opportunity to learn a little more, grow a little more, love a little more.
So again I say, Sometimes I don't understand my own ways.
I love this week because there is opportunity here.
At my speech and debate practices there are opportunities to bond with teammates, impress my coach, and feel good about my abilities.
At my Jessup "Scholars Event" there are opportunities to share my story, to set down my foundation, to grow.

At school there are opportunities to build someone up, to learn, to spend time with people you care for.

So....yes. I am tired of predictability... but that is only so, when I fail to see opportunity in predictable things.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


Last night I had fun with three young girls: Shayna(4), Brooklyn(9 months), and Sage(2)... as well as two fun, sport loving boys:Allen(5) and Erik(7)...all who live at Acres of Hope. All five of them were such a blessing.

The whole night could be summed up in one word: Simple. They were excited over simple foods like garlic bread and valentines day gifts....they were happy over simple drinks like green apple soda... and they loved simple things like bear hugs and funny handshakes. Simple. Relaxed.

All the hype and love they had over these simple things made me remember how blessed I am to be living in this wonderful home, taking hard classes at Sierra College, and spending time with my fantastic Speech&Debate Team.

I love you Mom and I loved our simple and relaxed life. I miss it. I miss you. I miss the blessing you were and are.
Love Always
Your Daughter,