Friday, February 7, 2014

Curve Balls

Hi Mom,
I'm sitting here, staring out the same window, with the same black cat staring back as I have the last (almost) 3 weeks.

A dear friend of mine just left after an unfortunate, but totally acceptable, rushed visit and this post is being written, actually by voice recording on my phone first...since I'm panicking and already forgetting the point I had to share. I'm imagining my friend is still here, because when people are here that I love, focus is here too.

Recovery isn't as idyllic as it's portrayed. To be honest, I have not watched one full movie, only two Grey's Anatomy episodes, and not read a whole book. It makes me sad.

I have peaks of focus, no stamina, and I work around all of those moments. I work at my peak and with an efficiency that I can only attribute to the prayers before, during, and after.
LOVING the field of work I'm in helps a ton too.

Everyone told me the worst (surgery) is behind me, and to prepare for the idyllic. What I've gotten is so opposite of that.
I've gotten curve balls. Early post op side effects, still doctors calls every other day, fatigue, naps out of necessity, not journaling ( & no, blogging isn't the same) for a month, & taking two weeks to research hotels that would have taken an hour.

Surprising to even me, this isn't a pity party post, it's actually the opposite. But in order to get to that part you needed to know the truth.

Even with my old background in children's softball, I'm having to learn how to hit curveballs again.

Even the simple ones. Working for 3 hrs 50 minutes & taking a 30 minute break, then finishing the last ten. Because sometimes ten minutes is a huge curveball, but it STILL is an obstacle you can overcome.
I'm thankful for friends, doughnuts, prayers, cast art, early birthday cards, and all those short visits or small things that distract me from my fear of forgetting things. My fear that my small appetite will remain small.

And I'm thankful for my friends subconscious acceptance of my apology for making visits sometimes too business-ey. I haven't quite yet mastered the art of answering your questions,& in our bubble of my focus, get to what I care about: YOU.
Thank you friends for teaching me, slowly, how to hit a curve ball again. I'm so thankful for phone voice recorders....and here come the kids. Time to play.

Love Always and Forever
Your Daughter,