Two songs that I have been listening to on repeat the last few days, both done on FOX Glee. They just sums things up a lot, and even though the two songs don't pertain to any situation lately, they have pertained a little bit in the past. Both songs, in the end, give me a positive outlook on life and the things that go on each day.
Love Always and Forever
Your Daughter,
Brittany
Friday, January 13, 2012
Saturday, January 7, 2012
I wont give up- Jason Mraz
Mom,
Although this song is probably not about a mother-daughter relationship, every time I listen I think of Shelby and I and our relationship with you. You never gave up on us and we never gave up on you....yet at the same time, you knew that we needed time to learn who we were- apart from you.
Thank you for being our Mom.
Love always and Forever
Your daughter,
Britt.
Although this song is probably not about a mother-daughter relationship, every time I listen I think of Shelby and I and our relationship with you. You never gave up on us and we never gave up on you....yet at the same time, you knew that we needed time to learn who we were- apart from you.
Thank you for being our Mom.
Love always and Forever
Your daughter,
Britt.
A new year, and the motivation to continue.
Mom,
I know it has been a while since I have written here, but I really felt it neccessary to share this story with you. Last night I had a dream that I was talking with you about my goals and why, though completely frightened by failure, I will pursue my life long dreams of going to Graduate school, visiting New York City, and publishing a novel.
I don't remember much of the dream, but I do remember one paragraph, which I have decided to use as my motivation for the year of 2012. Here it is (poor grammar and all) :
Love Always and Forever
Your Daughter,
Britt
I know it has been a while since I have written here, but I really felt it neccessary to share this story with you. Last night I had a dream that I was talking with you about my goals and why, though completely frightened by failure, I will pursue my life long dreams of going to Graduate school, visiting New York City, and publishing a novel.
I don't remember much of the dream, but I do remember one paragraph, which I have decided to use as my motivation for the year of 2012. Here it is (poor grammar and all) :
"I have fallen.scrapped.cut.bruised. I have endured surgery.physical therapy and stationary bikes. I have gone through orthopedic braces. walkers. crutches and canes. I have done all this, and yet I have never failed to find a reason to pick myself off the ground and continue... So why am I allowing myself to start now? Why should I diminish my prior accomplishments and believe they can never compare to the dreams I wish to pursue today? If I can accomplish all that I have in regards to my Cerebral Palsy than it is possible for me to go to New York, get into grad school, and publish a novel. If I can continue to conquer my disability, I can continue to conquer my dreams. I will do it."Though after waking up I still am completely afraid of the uncertainty that lies in my future, this is my motivation. I will be the person I wish to become. I will stop at nothing to make my dreams become my reality. I will focus on doing what you, Dad, and Shelby have taught me- I will continue to never give up on myself.
Love Always and Forever
Your Daughter,
Britt
Monday, November 28, 2011
Never deny the dreams in your heart.
Mom,
Today for my public speaking class we were assigned a self eulogy. I have never been this terrified for a speech ever... and I LOVE speaking. Thinking about this speech though, really brought to my attention the blessing it is to live today.
In reflection of this attitude I decided to post pictures that relate to the things I want to be able to do before I die.
Yes Mom, they do all revolve around New York...specifically New York City.
Tonight's NYC Skyline:
Cafe Orlin off of St. Marks Place, a small hole in the wall coffee and brunch place that is actually relatively priced!
Christmas Boat Parade that happened at the East River on Saturday night.
New York City skyline last night
Today for my public speaking class we were assigned a self eulogy. I have never been this terrified for a speech ever... and I LOVE speaking. Thinking about this speech though, really brought to my attention the blessing it is to live today.
In reflection of this attitude I decided to post pictures that relate to the things I want to be able to do before I die.
Yes Mom, they do all revolve around New York...specifically New York City.
Tonight's NYC Skyline:
I am totally a New Yorker at heart!
Love always and forever
Your Daughter,
Brittany
Friday, September 16, 2011
No fancy words, just the truth.
Mom,
Today I don't have much of an idea about what I wish to say to you. To be honest I am only really writing on here because I don't like that it has been a full month since I wrote to you...
I guess if I was to speak to you today I would say this: our life has changed.
I know that sounds silly because it's one of those obvious truths, but it actually dawned on me today. I noticed that even though in less than a month it will be a year since you were on this Earth, I still don"t like to allow myself to admit things are COMPLETELY different.
I was watching the choir here at Jessup and I realized that if I went up to Tom and introduced myself that he might ask how you and dad were doing. You see Mom, Tom use to work with Dad a few years back and if he remembered Dad than I knew he would ask that question.That seemingly innocent, yet painful question. Mom, I didn't want him to ask that question because I felt it awkward to have to tell him that you passed away when I would just meet him.
So mom, today I don't have any metaphors or deep insights into my life. I'm just writing to say I'm still growing. Still learning. Still struggling to move on and be able to speak of you and not cry every time. I'm just writing to say time doesn't heal all wounds, it just numbs them. What does heal wounds is addressing them head on, acknowledging them for what they are, and knowing that you will survive them if you have the courage to do so.
Love always and forever
Your Daughter
Britty
Today I don't have much of an idea about what I wish to say to you. To be honest I am only really writing on here because I don't like that it has been a full month since I wrote to you...
I guess if I was to speak to you today I would say this: our life has changed.
I know that sounds silly because it's one of those obvious truths, but it actually dawned on me today. I noticed that even though in less than a month it will be a year since you were on this Earth, I still don"t like to allow myself to admit things are COMPLETELY different.
I was watching the choir here at Jessup and I realized that if I went up to Tom and introduced myself that he might ask how you and dad were doing. You see Mom, Tom use to work with Dad a few years back and if he remembered Dad than I knew he would ask that question.That seemingly innocent, yet painful question. Mom, I didn't want him to ask that question because I felt it awkward to have to tell him that you passed away when I would just meet him.
So mom, today I don't have any metaphors or deep insights into my life. I'm just writing to say I'm still growing. Still learning. Still struggling to move on and be able to speak of you and not cry every time. I'm just writing to say time doesn't heal all wounds, it just numbs them. What does heal wounds is addressing them head on, acknowledging them for what they are, and knowing that you will survive them if you have the courage to do so.
Love always and forever
Your Daughter
Britty
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Thoughts. Hopes. Dreams.
Mom,
Tonight so many thoughts are brewing in my mind...none of which, I have to admit, are connected. Because if this, tonight will just be a spew of thoughts, hopes, and dreams. I will be writing it in a neat list...I don't really know why, it just seems appropriate.
1. I am currently looking at my copy of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre and tracing my fingers over dad's note inside. There is something so touching to me when I receive a book with a hand written note in it. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
2.When I close my eyes right now I imagine myself dancing alone on stage in front of hundreds of people, and to my surprise, nailing Stephen's Children of Eden choreography.
3.I have Adele's song "Someone like You" on repeat. When I allow myself to escape reality I imagine this song playing as I walk barefoot on the beach holding hands with dad, like a little girl again.
4. At age 27 I see myself in a little apartment in New York,one that I am paying a fortune for- but it doesn't matter.The rest of the house could be dirt for all I care, as long as one room could be my study.
The study would have to have:
5. I, like every other girl, want to find love someday. A simple guy who has a good sense of humor and who embraces me for the silly girl that I am is all I need.
6. I have never been a person driven by money and I honestly hope that never changes. Enough money to live out my dreams is all I need, not a penny more. I want to remain charitable and be able to find a job doing something I love.
Thanks for listening Mom.
Love Always and Forever
Your Daughter,
Britt
Tonight so many thoughts are brewing in my mind...none of which, I have to admit, are connected. Because if this, tonight will just be a spew of thoughts, hopes, and dreams. I will be writing it in a neat list...I don't really know why, it just seems appropriate.
1. I am currently looking at my copy of Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre and tracing my fingers over dad's note inside. There is something so touching to me when I receive a book with a hand written note in it. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
2.When I close my eyes right now I imagine myself dancing alone on stage in front of hundreds of people, and to my surprise, nailing Stephen's Children of Eden choreography.
3.I have Adele's song "Someone like You" on repeat. When I allow myself to escape reality I imagine this song playing as I walk barefoot on the beach holding hands with dad, like a little girl again.
4. At age 27 I see myself in a little apartment in New York,one that I am paying a fortune for- but it doesn't matter.The rest of the house could be dirt for all I care, as long as one room could be my study.
The study would have to have:
- A bookshelf from ceiling to floor(that I built myself) in cherry wood.
- A nice small desk with a bankers lamp...the desk filled with black and white family photos and covered in hundreds of papers, evidence of the book I would be writing.
- Bright red walls that show off the black and white drawings(which would be on the wall opposite the huge bookshelf) that Shelb created and gave to me the Christmas before.
5. I, like every other girl, want to find love someday. A simple guy who has a good sense of humor and who embraces me for the silly girl that I am is all I need.
6. I have never been a person driven by money and I honestly hope that never changes. Enough money to live out my dreams is all I need, not a penny more. I want to remain charitable and be able to find a job doing something I love.
Thanks for listening Mom.
Love Always and Forever
Your Daughter,
Britt
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Music to my ears...
"...And in the midst of sailing ships,
we sink our lips,into the ones we love..that have to say goodbye."
Mom,
I knew there would be no way for me to sleep tonight if I didn't write this for you.
As the three of us drove to dinner tonight, Shelb and I realized that dad had a Train CD in his car. The same CD you and Shelby had bought when you went to their concert way back in 2007, I believe it was. Since your passing I have thought a lot about this one song in particular, "When I look to the Sky", and to my surprise when it came on both Shelb and I said, almost simultaneously, that it reminded us of you.
"When I feel like there is no one, that will ever know me, there you are to show me.
When I look to the sky, something tells me your here with me, and you make everything alright..."
This song reminds me to thank you- for never leaving me, even when it feels inpossible for me to fly- you are always here and I LOVE you for that.
Love Always&Forever.
Your Daughter,
Britt
we sink our lips,into the ones we love..that have to say goodbye."
Mom,
I knew there would be no way for me to sleep tonight if I didn't write this for you.
As the three of us drove to dinner tonight, Shelb and I realized that dad had a Train CD in his car. The same CD you and Shelby had bought when you went to their concert way back in 2007, I believe it was. Since your passing I have thought a lot about this one song in particular, "When I look to the Sky", and to my surprise when it came on both Shelb and I said, almost simultaneously, that it reminded us of you.
For me, this song reminds me of summer weeks spent cleaning the house. You always would blast this song when you cleaned the kitchen cabinets- and I remember the three of us belting it out as we all danced in our socks on the kitchen floor.
This song reminds me of our trip up to the cottage in Capitola for a girls-only weekend... and blasting this CD as we drove up Highway 17...
This song reminds me of our crazy dance moves and your beautiful off pitch voice...
This song reminds me of our laughter..."When I feel like there is no one, that will ever know me, there you are to show me.
When I look to the sky, something tells me your here with me, and you make everything alright..."
This song reminds me to thank you- for never leaving me, even when it feels inpossible for me to fly- you are always here and I LOVE you for that.
Love Always&Forever.
Your Daughter,
Britt
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