It scares me that last night I felt like, despite the insanity, I still had a grip on who I was and what I wanted. I felt I understood what my days were made of, what made me happy, what God was trying to teach me .
Then again like Chels said to me Tuesday: feelings are false indicators of reality, and I’m realizing this is exactly what she meant.
Yesterday I felt comfortable that I knew what was in my agenda. Today, I realize that those feelings were my own and not from God.
I wasn’t giving Him control of my agenda… I was self-centered. Enough so that I felt I could pick what I did with my time.
What was I thinking??
The only person who knows what will happen to me next is God and I was silly to think that I could do what I wanted.
My heart is uneasy tonight, but I know in the long run I will learn something from this pain.
Love always your daughter,
Brittany
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