Sunrise to Sunset....

Momma,
I never realized what a true blessing the sunset really is until I witnessed one this evening as I came home from my Bible study on "The Truth Project".
How many sunrises and sunsets have just passed me by?

Tonight I feel convicted.

I have done a lot of self reflection lately...both on my relationship with god and my response to this HUGE trial.

Why have I responded this way?

From December to March...
I took the approach of a sinner... I wanted to go in alone...I wanted to straighten everything out as independently as I could.

Sure, I'm still a sinner now but I realize I am and want to be covered by God's grace.

April to June 1st...
I realized I couldn't do this alone.... I needed Him. I didn't know how to respond, I didnt know if I really wanted to change, I didn't know what to do...

Now...
Again I recognize I can't heal you or fix our family alone...I need God. This time around (since Boardfest) I have bought the book Chels suggested My upmost for His highest and have read through it almost everyday!(I missed two days so far).

Still I feel that it's not enough...
I want bible verses around my room and bathroom! Ha. That will only happen if i want to be banned from church and friends

I want worship music! Only going to happen if I can get cd's from friends which I am attempting to do currently.

I want encouragement! daily encouragment.I don't want to go on this journey alone.I want to live sunrise to sunset for Him. I feel if I do that I can help the family out more; I can help you out more.

I think it's too much to ask for right now....
I will pray.