Saturday, July 10, 2010

My life has become one big mystery

Why do I write these entries? Will I ever show you this blog which I made for you? Will you ever be able to read them from our home computer?Will you ever be able to read? Why is it when I'm free, everyone else is busy? and vice versa? Why is it when you want your friends the most they are busy? Why have i not been able to sleep unless I have my fan on? Why am I second guessing being Editor-in-chief next year? What is my purpose? Do my friends really love me?Why is it that I miss family? Why is it that when I close my eyes today scenes from holidays with family come to mind? Why do I have a desire to just hug someone and never let them go? Why is it that I feel alone when others are all around me? How come I am dying to be on the beach with you right now? Why did this happen now? When I'm a teenager? How come we never realize what we have until its gone? Why is it that my self esteem is so low today? Have you ever thought about what someone else is doing at any moment in time? What is wrong with me...my emotions are so up and down today? Why do Aunt Lora and Uncle Bob have to live in Colorado? Why does it seem that at every angle, our family is falling apart? Why when I put in so much effort to be the best person I can be, I dont reap any reward? How am I suppose to handle all this? Why can't emotions be black and white? Have you ever had a desire to call someone, just so you can hear there voice? Why am I thinking of that eve in Santa Cruz when it was just you, me, & a bagel shop? Why does my life seem to be worthless to others?Why do I spend my time doing the things I do? Why is it that within the last three months 3 people have passed away? Why don't i have MORE hope? Why is that in tragedy our past seems to fade away?Does love really set us free? Why do I not have any answers?
Love always your daughter,
Brittany

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